Transference is the phenomenon where someone projects preconceived notions upon another. Suler discusses transference in online interactions. This discussion led me to think about how transference can alter an interaction and an eventual relationship. I think that from the case study with Alexis and Craig it is possible to see that Alexis only wanted to see good things in Craig. Everything that he did was to a positive end. I think this portrays the notion of transference quite well. Alexis wanted Craig to be the perfect guy. So she only looked at his actions in that light. Anything he did could only add to that image. His actions that could be counter, Alexis either disregarded or interpreted in a positive light. The fact that Alexis met Craig while he was in a relationship was not looked at badly. She only focused on the fact that he was being abused in the relationship and was willing to reach out to her for help.
So taking all of that into consideration, I am wondering whether transference can add to or detract from a relationship, in particular an online relationship. Through my contemplations I have come to think about several things. First I think that the type of relationship is important. If the two people in a relationship only have a relationship online then that would be very different than people who begin online and eventually meet. I think that transference becomes more obvious in the latter case. The people who never meet in real life will possibly never be able to realize how much they have transfered upon the other. So I think that transference can add to a relationship when it is only online more often than it can for a relationship that eventually becomes an in-person relationship.
I also think that transference can be visible online when people re-read the written records of their relationship. In this respect transference can add to a better understanding of the person doing the transfering, but I am not sure how much that helps the overall relationship.
What do others think about transference?
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2 comments:
Very interesting analysis, Christina. Because a person's identity is so nebulous and malleable online, it's very easy to mantain a relationship based on transference, because your metaphoric "bubble" of stereotypes and assumptions never has to burst. However, I think it's unwise and naive to stay within that bubble if someone actually wants to pursue a well-rounded, successful relationship. At this point in our studies, I am pretty convinced that someone can carry out an intimate, real relationship with someone online ... as long as they move past the safety net of transference, which is a step that Alexis seems to avoid like the plague. Suler said it well: "... This more rich and meaningful relationship will only develop when people are mature enough to talk about and work through those projections and transferences with each other." Alexis, on the other hand, clings tightly to her rosy assumptions, going as far as "trusting" Craig, despite having absolutely nothing critical to say about him. Since when do we only trust people who are picture-perfect? Personally, I'll trust people more when they expose their faults.
Christina, I think you make a very good observation that Alexis’s relationship barometer is largely centered upon her transference of his online and offline behavior. This is what I find interesting… would she continue to assess his actions in a positive manner through her rose-colored glasses (piggy backing off of Lauren’s “rosy assumptions”) if they had met in person and under the same circumstances? Are online conversations, such as Alexis’s, considered less a breach of honesty than the exact same conversations transpiring in person (without any physical touch)?
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